Life's Inevitable...

"Hello, my name is Nicole and I want to be vulnerable & sincere; to live life to the fullest while I am here; to be in the moment & intentional while being authentic, raw & real."

I wrote those words in my journal this morning after a rich devotional & quiet time with the Lord, and after processing a short video I had just watched. In the video, the curator said we are not special, we are unique in that we will all go through pain because that is life; it is just a matter of when, not if, and in what form (i.e. death, disease, divorce, dealing with a loved one's addiction, etc.). How we deal and respond to that pain, however, varies from person to person and is determined by our unique makeup & wiring.

"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth." I want to walk out Mark Twain's directive because his wise words feel 'safe' & courageous; like a shield against all the negative life throws at us. Unfortunately, this 'utopic' perspective is not conducive to growth. For it is in and through pain & loss that we gain the ability to recognize and experience pleasure & love. Both sides of the coin are inevitable in life and it takes both for true growth & evolution to occur.

When I was learning to snow ski, I remember hearing "If you're not falling down, you're not learning to ski." How true! The same could be said for life. It is through the bumps & bruises, aches & pains, sweat & tears, struggle & effort that an athlete develops strength & muscle memory, children are born, butterflies emerge from the cocoon, and a seedling sprouts up through the dirt to bloom. 

Nature's truest example of beauty out of the muck is the lotus flower. After blooming from muddy & cloudy water, the flower emerges beautifully pristine. It is often what we learn in the process of walking out the pain & darkness of life that brings the beauty & light. 

Knowing life & death are inevitable, rather than burying our head in the sand or running for the hills in avoidance, imagine if we instead embraced acceptance of that which we cannot control or change? What if we asked ourselves what could be learned during the process, in the meantime, and in the midst? In typing those words, the Serenity Prayer comes to mind..."Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." Think how the learning curve could be shortened and 're-do's' skipped because, as I have learned and experienced, we continue to get 'the lesson' until we pass 'the test.'

We never 'arrive' in & on this journey called life. There is evolution in intentionally showing up, being present and embracing, per se, the unexpected & the often-desired avoidable. Sorrow & loss are as much a part of life's mosaic as are joy & gain. Growth never - if rarely - happens in the status quo. It is when we can release our grip of resistance & control that resilience & compassion emerge. 

I received a beautiful, colorful birthday bouquet of flowers today from a dear, lifelong friend. This sweet surprise brought an unexpected burst of joy to my heart and smile to my face. I know in a couple days the flowers will die. That is a fact I cannot avoid, deny or change, however, what will remain is the memory of her kind & thoughtful gesture, and the joy I received while the blooms were alive & fragrant. Polar opposites yet one does not exist without the other. So, lean into the pain and embrace the unknown, the unfolded and the unwritten of what is unseen and is to come. It is here, in this space of grace, grit & uncertainty, of pressing in but not being shaken by the uncomfortable & inevitable ups & downs of this roller coaster ride we call life, that we are truly alive and true transformation takes place.