"Lent lends light to all the dark." Ann Voskamp
In trying to determine what to give up from the usual suspects and vices of choice (sweets, soda, fries, bread, cursing, sparkling wine, social media...), just three days into the Lenten season I am already failing miserably in my pursuit of a more disciplined focus on, and time with, God. During my devotional time this morning, however, I had the revelation that my attempts at clearing the clutter and quieting the noise are futile if my heart is not in the right place and on board with my 'sacrifices.' For it is out of our hearts that flow the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). We speak out of the abundance of what is in our hearts (Luke 6:45). Within this realization, I fear I am more of a clanging cymbal in my speech than the true and pure exhibition of love for God and others by bearing all things (1 Corinthians 13:1-7).
Then I read the above quote by Ann Voskamp in her recent Lent blog post. Through her short but powerful sentence and my indecisiveness, I am reminded of what James said about faith being dead without works (James 2:14-26). But what if all that is motivating me are the works? Where is my faith? With faith in my heart, the 'works part' should come easy, per se, almost occurring without a thought.
Easy...and I use that term loosely, almost mockingly, because I know that any time we attempt to abdicate an addiction, sever a stronghold, and break free from bondages that hold us back and down, the process is never easy. That being said, it is 'easy' to overcome our Achilles heel in the absence of our weakness, our thorn, and the source of our downfall. It takes heartfelt commitment, immense resolve, and true grit to stay the course of self restraint when the source of our contention and temptation is staring us in the face. It is 'easy' to overcome, ignore, and conquer something that is not there, however, how is the battle truly won in that circumstance? The battle is won and victory achieved when we see the social media notifications and choose to ignore them; when we walk confidently and boldly past the bakery section without even glancing into the case rather than rerouting our shopping journey to avoid this area altogether; when we choose to believe God's Word and truth over the lies of the enemy and harsh, critical words of others; when we allow forgiveness to reign over our hearts and lives rather than bitterness and past hurts; and when we relinquish our plans, will and desires to those of God. We are truly triumphant when we are intentional in our thoughts, words, deeds, and actions - by conscience decision rather than obligation. It is choosing to throw back the curtains, letting the light and joy of the day shine in, rather than keeping them drawn and closed, pretending the darkness is ever present.
Through my prayers and asking God for guidance as to what to abstain from this Lenten season, He revealed to me today that it does not matter what I do or don't do, give up or keep, if my heart is not in, behind, and motivating my sacrifice. Without the latter, I am just going through the motions. So, this year, rather than tuning out and turning away from the sources of my distraction, temptation and weakness for forty days of somber mourning in anticipation of Good Friday's loss at Calvary, I am going to tune in and turn towards God in the midst of my distractions, temptations and weaknesses while preparing my heart with joy for the light and resounding victory of the Cross on Easter morning.
To do this, rather than a "one and done, puff lob or volley" prayer to God and then moving on, I need to press in, be diligent, and pray like Anna in the temple (Luke 2:36-38), daily going before God with my heartfelt obedience, cries, petitions and requests. I have to be persistent like the woman before the judge (Luke 18:1-8) and like Jacob wrestling with God, not letting go until God blessed him (Genesis 32:22-31). While it may only take faith as small as a mustard seed to move a mountain (Matthew 17:20), it also takes a heart filled with passion, reverence, awe, commitment, love and unyielding desire, belief, faith, trust and hope to cast out demons, have chains broken, see true change, and experience answered prayers brought to fruition.
While I may fail in my attempts, God's unfailing love catches me when I fall. And for and in this knowledge, I rest and am grateful beyond measure.
