The Morning After...

With many celebrations, there tends to be a "Now what?!?" moment that follows, if not immediately, then the morning after. Easter is no different, or maybe I'm the only one who thinks this way?!?!

The morning after Easter's rejoicing left me in an odd state of reflection and "Where do I go from here?" contemplation.

During my worship & devotional time yesterday morning, I heard the song, "Tell Your Heart to Beat Again," by Christian contemporary artist Danny Gokey. 


You're shattered

Like you've never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you're never gonna get back
To the you that used to be

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again

Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It's alright now
Love's healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
'Cause your story's far from over
And your journey's just begun

Listening to the lyrics brought clarity regarding the past couple of years, my resulting feelings, and my next steps suddenly became apparent & obvious. The morning after Easter brought me the peace & reassurance I needed, giving me direction on how I was to move forward into my future. 

It is as if the prior year and a half had been one long Good Friday, with closed doors, disappointments, and the death of relationships, dreams & the life I knew.

Then the quietness, stillness & uncertainty of that Saturday. I've walked out the "Now what?" dismay of what I believe the disciples and Jesus' other followers could have felt, thought & said, even if just to themselves. Add regret & remorse I presume Peter and Judas tortured themselves with and you have the makings for a brutally long wait plagued with doubt and second-guessing of what you thought you had, and how you assumed & believed things would occur yet would now never come to pass. 

I've been in a holding pattern, per se, walking out & living that quiet Saturday since January 2, 2020. We all have such high expectations, goals & aspirations for January 1st. The first day, of the first month, of a new year when all the setbacks & missteps of the past year are 'magically' wiped away. The slate is clean, ready for 'do overs' & resets. We have before us the blank page of a new year with new goals, renewed aspirations, revived determination, and the best of intentions; when wrongs will be made right and starts fresh & anew. Endings aren't always bad because beginnings follow. Setbacks sometimes are actually set-ups for what is to come. Some start new jobs, some new relationships, others new diets...I moved to a new state.

With the excitement & exhilaration of new beginnings & endless possibilities, I packed up my life in Texas and closed the door on one chapter of my life to open a new one in Tennessee. Then...the job changed, tornadoes hit, coronavirus spread, home quarantining mandated, and furlough happened. My anticipated next steps were replaced with "Now what?" and "Did I misinterpret what I thought I heard God tell me?" The need to pivot & regroup becomes imperative in these uncertain moments. 

But then came Sunday and the stone was rolled away. Gokey encourages in his song, we get backup, close the door of the past because we aren't meant to live there anymore. We tell our hearts to beat again because the empty tomb on Sunday brings back to life dreams & reassurance of plans and a promise to prosper, not harm us; to give us hope & a future. Resurrection & redemption of what was lost - whether temporary or permanent - causes our hearts to leap with joy, faith & excitement of what is to come. Confidence that we will see beauty out of ashes because nothing is wasted in God's economy & timing; we celebrate victory over death with a renewed purpose & resolve. Strength develops where weakness exists; courage & boldness emerge from where cowardliness & fear once had a foothold. We believe & have faith in a story that,while we do not know what the future holds, we know Who holds the future.

So, on the morning after Easter, we can face the new day with a peace that surpasses all understanding. That being said, we are human and it is our nature to 'self protect' until we have evidence that we are safe. Sure, we can be optimistic but we aren't going to blindly let our guard down & wholeheartedly get our hopes up; been there, done that...at least not until we see with our own eyes. Danny Gokey has another song, "Just Haven't Seen It Yet" which reminds me of the doubting disciple, Thomas. To Thomas, believing was seeing. He needed evidence of what he was hearing; until he saw the risen Lord with His scars, it couldn't be true. 

Faith, however, is hope in the things unseen. In the wake & light of my 'morning after' revelation, I am more determined, motivated & energized to make the most of every day and to believe, trust & take God at His Word. Today is a present, tomorrow is a beautiful blank canvas of hope & endless possibilities, and the future is full of new beginnings, dreams & promises yet to unfold. 

Death & Resurrection...

Death has to occur in order for resurrection to take place. 

Death of...relationships, plans, self. Blessed and released.

Resurrection of...promises, hope, dreams. Brought back to life.

I do not believe there is any coincidence we are walking out COVID-19 during Lent; a journey of, and to, decrease & death on the way to increase & life.

The past as we know it is gone; in its place a new perspective, newfound knowledge, trust, renewal. 

Light of 'that' Sunday morning shining through the darkness of 'that' Friday. Hope renewed & restored. An example of the deepest, purest, most miraculous & redemptive love endured one day so that a covenant is able to come to fruition with the new day dawning three days later. A promised fulfilled. Victory won. Sacrifice made for redemption.

What in your world, past, flesh, or thoughts need to be nailed to the cross to die in order for the resurrection of new hopes, dreams, prayers, and life?

From our limited vantage point of the here & now, like the disciples, we too believe the lie that 'death', an ending, or closed door is the finale of the story. We fail to remember sometimes the ending is a necessary step for the ultimate beginning. Just as the earth must go dormant for a season to allow for new life to spring forth in the next, perhaps it is time to breathe new life into and resurrect a dream, hope, relationship, desire or goal that has been buried, either for a long time or 'just' three days.

What if it wasn't too late for that 'thing' you forgot about or gave up on because, from your viewpoint, it looked hopeless, impossible or too far gone? Sunday was a new day of resurrection that followed Friday's death; but let us not skip over Saturday's waiting. The quiet & delay in the midst may be necessary, just like the hibernation of winter's rest, in order for growth or reawakening to emerge.

Rather than dreams and hope dying, perhaps it is regret, shame, fear & doubt that need to die, per se, and be released in order to resurrect the possibilities of a new day, a new chapter, a new beginning.

The past, with its pain, rejection, failures, mistakes, & dead ends, is gone and 'finished.' In its place, allow the future with its healing, acceptance, forgiveness, love & possibilities to arise.

Let the shadow of the cross be bigger, engulf and redeem anything & everything that has been done & said to & by you. Let disgrace be replaced with honor, weakness with strength, lies with truth, debt with forgiveness, and bondage with freedom. 

Observe and honor the death of Friday & the past to embrace and receive the resurrection of Sunday & the future. A funeral one day; a celebration the next.

Protection...

In these scary, turbulent, uncertain days of COVID-19 and coronavirus, people are needing to take measures & steps to stay safe & healthy. We can do things to protect ourselves & our families such as washing our hands, covering our cough, using sanitizer; all of which helps to protect our bodies from germs. We can get rest, eat sensible diets, exercise & keep socially distant to keep our bodies healthy & help minimize the spread of viruses. But how do you protect your heart & your mind during trying times? When the unknown & uncertainty loom larger than the known & certain?

I turn to God's Word, put on His Armor & pray, as instructed in Ephesians 6:10-18. The helmet of salvation protects my mind from the schemes & lies of the enemy. Daily I have to take my thoughts captive as instructed in Second Corinthians 10:5. In other words, I have to silence my inner critic, worries, doubts & fears by making what God says about me & my future louder than any negative internal dialogue that is on repeat in my head. The breastplate of righteousness protects my heart by extinguishing the fiery & flaming darts of the enemy. In Proverbs 4:23, God's Word tells us we are to, "above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Our heart is the wellspring of life; it houses our emotions & feelings, good or bad. It is said, we speak from what is in, or from the condition of, our heart. What do your words & actions say about the condition of your heart? God's been doing 'surgery' on my heart the past year...in fact, you could say He has performed a heart 'transplant,' taking my heart of stone & replacing it with a fleshy, new heart (Ezekiel 36:26). The thing is, with something that is new & tender, it is also vulnerable. I have to be more diligent in protecting it than I was with my 'old' heart because the walls I previous built up out of protection no longer exist. My 'new' heart is easily bruised & wounded, which is why it is more important than ever that I put on His Armor & read His Word daily, to receive His protection & remind myself of His truth. Without such protection, 'viruses' can infiltrate & attack my 'immune system,' rendering me susceptible to hurts that can cloud & decay my emotions, responses, actions, words & deeds over time.

Yes, we are in unprecedented times. Yes, we need to wash our hands for protection...perhaps it's also the perfect time to cleanse, per se, our hearts & minds for protection as well by 'scrubbing' what we allow in & access to both. Stay safe & sanitize on, my friends!    

Peace & Prayer...

"Through every battle,
through every heartbreak,
through every circumstance...
I believe You are my fortress..." 
(excerpt from "The Way" by Pat Barrett)

Warrior pose.
This image has so many meanings, from a yoga pose to the stance we take when we pray.
Yoga, like prayer, brings peace. 
Prayer, like yoga, channels our inner strength.
You could say in both, we leave everything on the mat.

There's a reason we're called to daily put on the Armor of God; to take up the Shield of Faith and to yield the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Not only is it biblical, but when we arm ourselves with these weapons, we become warriors as we pray. In raising our Shield, we protect our hearts - the wellspring of life, the center of our emotions. In prayer, we go to battle for ourselves, our minds, our families, our friends, our country, the world, our concerns, etc.

When we take this warrior prayer stance, we become stronger, not weaker. We are never more powerful, and a bigger threat to the enemy, than we are when we are in a position of prayer; whether on our knees, face down on the floor, or in a chair with folded hands & bowed heads. In this posture, we take our fight to Heaven & God, and His angel army goes to battle on our behalf. 

Prayer opens the floodgates to Heaven and brings God's presence & peace that surpasses all understanding. When we pray, we take our concerns, celebration, & commitments to the Lord. In doing so, we humble ourselves and realize the battle is not ours; it is His...and He has already won the victory! 

These are trying & uncertain times. Put your trust in the One who is trustworthy, faithful & true. In raising our petitions & praise to the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, we are reminded that it is not by our might but in & through His that we are made strong. In His Word, God reminds us that "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Cor. 12:9-11).

This is how I fight my battles. God has never let me down & promises to never leave nor forsake me. He also promises, that when we draw close to Him, He will draw close to us. He bottles our tears and knows our needs before & without us even uttering a word.

So, call upon God in prayer & you'll find yourself in the most peaceful, powerful pose, per se, ever.

Compassion...

The following thoughts started flowing after reading today's 'Compassion Means Action' entry in Christine Caine's "Unshakeable" devotional during my quiet time this morning...

In the current craziness, and at times (if we let it), overwhelming uncertainty of all that is going on in the world, I pray that we lead, walk & act out of compassion...for others...and ourselves. Many times we don't realize something needs fixing until it's broken. Rest is easy to ignore until it's 'thrust' upon us, per se. For the most part, trying & difficult times thankfully compels us, out of our compassion, to want to help everyone. But what if, during these emotional, trying & challenging times, we're called to help & serve those in front of us...the ones in our immediate & direct path...you know, our 'tribe', 'squad', 'circle'...our family & friends. I have a running 'to do' list that, due to life's busyness, I haven't been able to get to...unpacking, exercising, adequate sleep, writing thank you notes, writing in general, working my side business, reaching out to & catching up with family & friends, finishing my 2020 vision board, authentic & intentional (versus rushed) devotional/quiet time...and the list goes on and on and on. So, in this 'forced' time of 'social distancing,' rather than allowing aggravation & inconvenience to take hold, I am taking a posture of gratitude for the time to reset, recharge, rest, reassess, & reprioritize. The timing of this all during Lent is interesting. Lent is a time when we allow space of less - less of: us, busyness, have to's, etc. in order to allow for more to come & blossom - more of: God, light, love & compassion. 

Trying times can bring out the best, and unfortunately sometimes, the worst in humanity & ourselves. Just this morning, while scrolling on Facebook, I read both about one friend's car getting stolen from their own driveway and about another's engagement. Polar opposite events, taking place within the same 24-hour span, that evoke polar opposite emotions & responses. I pray that we do not allow what's going on in the world to bring out the worst in us, i.e. fighting in aisles over toilet paper, but rather that we rise to the occasion and let our best, our most compassionate side shine forth & through...of course while washing our hands, covering our cough & staying safe. 

Love...

There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy
Nothing you can make that can't be made
No one you can save that can't be saved
Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time
It's easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

There's nothing you can know that isn't known
Nothing you can see that isn't shown
There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be
It's easy

All you need is love

(The Beatles/Lennon-McCartney,  1967)

When you slow down & look around, you notice signs all around you. Contemplating a move, I took a trip to do 'research': to explore and, get a feel for & gut check on, my targeted city. I was frustrated that I wasn't getting the neon sign, per se, of clarity & direction that I was seeking & wanted. I did, however, receive the signs I needed. Time and time again, 'love' appeared...in the most unexpected, obvious & subtle ways. 

We are wired to need the love & companionship of others...and actually flourish when received & experienced. That being said, that love does not, and cannot compare with the love of our Heavenly, Almighty Father. God is love - sweet all encompassing, redemptive love. In His gentle, oh so gentlemanly way, He reminded me throughout this trip of His love for me; that the city I was considering is a safe place for my heart & soul to receive healing, fertile ground to see dreams come to fruition, and that love could be experienced, received & walked out there. 

In addition to experiencing God's love, a new love started to take root. As a bud starts to bloom in the sweet spring sun, I felt self-love blossoming. The Bible instructs us in Matthew 22:39 that we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. In order to do that, however, you have to first love yourself. On an airplane, in the event of a drop in cabin pressure, we're instructed to first put the oxygen mask on ourselves before others. There is a reason for this - we cannot pour into others when our cup is void & empty...or when we are lacking oxygen.    

In the backdrop of love and writing this post, I feel as though I have come full circle. It has been a little over a year since my last post. Much has happened during the past 12 months. There has been discovery & revelation; loss & gain; death, rebirth & growth; sorrow, pain & heartache; blessing & releasing; change & familiarity; healing & forgiveness; and hope & joy renewed. A year ago, with my last post, a significant chapter of my life was coming to a close...and now with this one, a new chapter & journey are beginning. It is amazing how things & life can change in what feels like a blink of an eye, when in reality it is over the course of a couple months or a year. Enough with the past though; I am looking & moving forward! I am so over the moon hopeful & excited to see what 2020 - a year of new vision, clarity & direction - holds and for what will unfold in the months to come. Hint: my (theme) word for this year is 'MOVE.' I want to move forward on dreams & goals; get moving athletically; be proactive; continue to grow, mature & develop in my faith walk, as a leader, friend, etc.; and my physical address/location could even change as well. A lot is going on in my world...stay tuned. In the meantime, love yourself & others well because, at the end of the day, love is all we need.

One Step at a Time...

Happy New Year and Welcome, 2019! 

As we 'walk' into a new year, while it can be a time of exciting beginnings, dreams, and opportunities...it can also be a time of uncertainty, endings, and the unknown. 

Sometimes, the abundant & daunting weight of endless opportunities is so overwhelming we get a case of 'analysis paralysis' - unable to move forward, towards, and into our destiny and purpose.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, however, sometimes we are in such a hurry to leave the past, with its pain, disappointments, and mistakes, behind us that we embrace & rush down a path we were never meant to follow.

And sometimes, hopefully more times than not, we opt for the path in the middle...where & when we have faith, trust, and hope in the Almighty, the One who has a plan for us, who gives us a peace that surpasses ALL understanding, who is working all things together for us, and who can do exceedingly & abundantly more than we can think or ask, that we are able to rest & lean into the process. 

We can rest because God knows all. His ways are not ours. His timing is perfect. His promises are yes & amen, without expiration, and He is in control. All that is required of us is belief and an obedience to go forth, one step at a time, per se.     

May you walk confidently & boldly into all that God has waiting for you this new year!