Family Tree...

As the saying goes, you can choose your friends but not your family.  While at a women’s conference at my church recently I was reminded that Jesus Christ’s lineage began with Rahab, a prostitute who was redeemed through her faith.  Hearing this story was very timely as I navigated feelings and emotions after learning that my biological father, with whom I have been estranged for the past thirty five years, had a stroke and his prognosis was grim and dire.   Not that I am comparing my family tree to Jesus’ by any stretch of the imagination, however, the past couple of days have provoked some serious soul searching.  In contemplating my thoughts, I do not want nor is it my place to judge him or anyone for that matter because I realize my glass house would not withstand any reciprocated judgment.  I was reminded at the conference; however, that what I am called to do is be the hands, feet and love of Christ to a hurt, broken and dying world.

At the conference, one of the speakers said that we could have been born at any point in time but God selected this day and age for our existence because he predestined a task for us; we have a purpose and a mission to bring glory to God’s kingdom.  I have long dreaded this day, the day when I would face my biological father’s mortality and any potential decisions and responsibilities that ensued.  Just as God preordained my existence, His hand is all over this situation.  I could have been born to anyone, at any time, to a “perfect” family with storybook interactions and marriages where everyone lived happily ever after.  Had that happened though, I would not have been able to look into the teary eyes of a wife whose marriage is in despair, pray for a daughter whose relationship with her father is severed, and truly, honestly and from the bottom of my heart say “ I understand what you’re going through.”  See, I believe we go through the trials and tribulations that we do so that we can hold the hand of someone and help them see through the forest of desperation and heartache.

Facing the challenges of the past couple of days, I realize the events are playing out just as they were intended.  No other point in time would I have been able to offer the mercy, forgiveness and love of Jesus to pray for my biological father.  I did not realize, know or fathom until now that God was healing and preparing me, at my paternal grandmother’s funeral, at the women’s conference just this past weekend, etc., for this exact moment in time.  I am truly absorbing into my soul that, where we began is not as important as where we end.  A race’s finish line would not be as gratifying had we not previously put in the hard work of training and actually running the race; a trophy for participation, without sweat, is not as sweet.

So, again I say, you cannot choose your family…but perhaps the question is not who God entrusts us to, per se, as much as who He entrusts to us.

Writer's Block...

Analysis paralysis...

Sensory overload...

A stark, white sheet staring back at me...

Give me a blank piece of paper and tell me to write or draw something of my choosing, off the top of my head, and I freeze; my mind goes blank.  Give me a thought, concept, or an idea to take and expand upon, however, and I am "off to the races" as they say.  My creative juices are flowing and kicking into gear.

I can only imagine the pressure famous writers and artists feel to create "another masterpiece," time and time again.  Please don't mistake what I am saying; I am not including myself in, and with, those esteemed groups of creative geniuses.  I write for fun and pure muse, however, what if I was doing it for a living?!??  How do "the greats" keep the thoughts coming, the creative juices flowing?  I have been MIA for the past couple of months partly due to the craziness of life and partly due to those stark, white pages staring back at me.   

Speaking of life, life is a wealth and great source of material, albeit bad with the good. Interesting how the lack of an idea for my next posting became the subject.  Life has a funny way of working itself out, per se.

I Am More...

...than the number on the scale, the candles on my cake, my title, the car I drive, the house I live in, the degree(s) behind my name, the stamps in my passport or the amount in my checking, savings or 401K accounts, etc.  

No other time than January 1st or when applying for a job is trying to answer the question "Who are you?" more thought provoking, frustrating, and exhilarating.

Whether taking an introspective gaze into your hopes, dreams, aspirations and goals for the new year or charting a new professional path, answering the following questions can be a daunting task: do I follow the road that is "tried and true" or do I (dare I?) take a leap of faith into the unknown, "rerouting" to take the fork in the road that leads to passion and uncertainty? 

I honestly do not know which option is scarier...the same path or a new one.  Known or unknown? Safe or unpredictable?  I do know, however, which one gets my heart racing and blood bumping with an excited, childlike enthusiasm versus a stress-induced apathy.

While still pondering and contemplating resolutions of 2014, fresh starts of our recent move and next steps in my career, I realized that perhaps my emphasis should not be on the words that follow the inquisitive questions; that I am as much the punctuation at the end of the sentence as I am the preceding words.  My "aha moment" came when I looked at the above questions through the perspective of an empty frame.  An empty picture frame holds endless possibilities and can be changed frequently.  It is when I chose the path that makes my inner child squeal with delight that I remember most. So, as I fill in the blank to answer "Who are you?," I want to be brave enough to make sure whatever I write has an exclamation mark at the end.  

I am so very thankful that each day and each year we are given a blank frame, per se, to determine our "picture." How are you filling in your blank and does your answer warrant an exclamation mark, a question mark or a period?  Based on your answer, you may want to do some editing.

Not a Sacrifice...

During Ash Wednesday service today, the pastor posed an interesting question.  He said most people talk about and decide what to give up during the 40 days of Lent.  "What if," he asked the congregation, "we ask ourselves instead 'what will I take on this Lent?' "  In a culture where multi-tasking has become second nature, you may say to yourself there is no possible way you can take on or add one more thing to your already maxed out, double-booked schedule.  I agree and am right there with you in that mindset, however, please let me finish.

The pastor went on to say that this "item" need not be anything heroic, earth shattering, or necessarily worthy of a journal entry.  He suggested allotting just five or ten minutes a day to quiet and still our minds to focus on and become more aware of God's presence in our life.  Referencing Mark Francisco Bozzuti-Jones' book, "Never Said a Mumbalin' Word," the pastor said that Jesus never mumbled a word.  Jesus did, however, take time to be quiet in His Father's presence.

The pastor's message was truly an answer to prayer.  In contemplating how I would observe this Lent season, I prayed last night that God would show me what He wanted me to give up for Lent. My "aha moment" came in the realization of how AMAZINGLY He answers prayers; and in most cases, not at all the way I thought, wanted or had in mind but rather in a way that I end up being blessed more than I could have ever imagined. 

Perhaps we could follow Jesus' example to afford ourselves a few intraspective and reflective moments in our crazy, busy days?  To me, this doesn't sound like a sacrifice, per se, but a welcomed moment of calm in the sea of chaos I call Monday through Friday.

        

Au Naturel...

My "aha moment" came on a trip to London. I saw all these great, short hairstyles and thought a great "souvenir" would be to get my hair cut while on vacation.  Much to my surprise and initial disappointment, the stylist said I already had a good cut and that I just needed a trim.  He brought out my natural curl that 1) I didn't realize I still had and 2) that I had been fighting all my life. You see, when I was little and as my hair grew, I graduated from resembling Bozo the Clown to Shirley Temple.  

My experience in the salon chair "across the pond" started my introspective juices flowing. Why do we always fight our natural assets versus embracing them?  We always want what we don't have and the grass is ALWAYS greener, especially when it comes to hairstyles and jean sizes. What we don't realize, regardless of which side of the flatiron we are on, is that rarely are we satisfied.  Our negative self-talk tends to operate in overdrive most of the time.  Fresh off of penning my 2014 resolutions, I am working on redirecting my thoughts to be more positive, and in the process, adopting a more accepting perspective...of others and in particularly of myself.

So, I came back from London sporting my natural curls in all of their wavy wonder and nowadays try to go "au naturel," per se, every chance I get. 

Thinking Outside The Box...

Happy New Year!  I'm back!  After taking some time off to mourn our dog child's passing and to get through...survive...I mean enjoy the holidays, I am back with all the infinite wisdom fresh resolutions and desires to "start anew" that a new year brings with it.

Part of the drill of the arrival of January 1st is the exercise of self examination, soul searching, goal setting, and some dreaming. When ordering water on two occasions, in two different cities, I received water in a box.  Hmmm, creative...more "eco" and green. Flashier and leaving more of an impression than one thinks when initially looking at a "plain, black and white" box.

I had an "aha moment" and my boxed water got me thinking. With the dawning of each new year, birthday, etc., most of us desire to "leave our imprint on this world"...and nowadays, with the rising population, decreasing resources and landfill space, more and more of us want to do so without leaving "our (waste) footprint."

It is encouraging to see people, especially today's youth, getting so involved in a variety of worthy causes. Unfortunately in our time in history, there is no lacking for a cause to rally behind and support.  For the most part, I would say most of us want to do good and abide by the Golden Rule. No other time is this exhibited than during the holidays, which is wonderful.  What is especially encouraging and renews my faith in mankind, however, is when this caring and "pay if forward" perspective appears beyond the holidays.  Today, I went through a southern-based chain's drive-thru for a quick lunch while running errands. When I got to the window to pay I was informed that the car in front of me paid for my meal. Wow!  The cashier said "and it's not even the holiday."  I was grateful, blessed, surprised and extremely touched.  

So touched and grateful to my anonymous benefactor that I returned the favor and kept the generous spirit flowing in the drive-thru by paying for the order of the car behind me. The bill was for two kid meals so it felt good to give a probably busy mom a surprise and unexpected break.  It is true what they say, it is better to give than receive and I drove off with a smile on my face as a result.

So, in light of my yet-to-be identified and penned resolutions (guess working on my procrastination should be at the TOP of the list!) and today's exhibition of generosity, in 2014 I want to look for more opportunities to pay it forward, to smile more, to work on my eye contact, to remember people's names, to get involved, and to be an active participant in this life; I only get one after all so I want this one to matter.  This all got me wanting to really think outside the box this year, or because of it, per se. 

  

Rest...

Catnaps...

No rest for the weary...
Rest and relaxation...
Bed rest...
Rest stops...

I "Googled" the word 'rest' and the following results appeared on my screen...

rest¹

rest/

verb

1. 1.

   cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.

   "he needed to rest after the feverish activity"

   synonyms:

   relax, take a rest, ease up/off, let up, slow down, have/take a break,unbend, unwind, recharge one's batteries, be at leisure, take it easy,put one's feet up; More
2. 2.

   be placed or supported so as to stay in a specified position.

   "her elbow was resting on the arm of the sofa"

   synonyms:

   lie, be laid, repose, be placed, be positioned, be supported by More

noun

1. 1.

   an instance or period of relaxing or ceasing to engage in strenuous or stressful activity.

   "you look as though you need a rest"

   synonyms:

   repose, relaxation, leisure, respite, time off, breathing space,downtime; More
2. 2.

   an object that is used to support something.

   "a chin-rest"

   synonyms:

   stand, base, holder, support, rack, frame, shelf More

The definitions that spoke to me in an "aha moment" are "refresh oneself, or recover strength" and the synonym that especially stood out to me was "recharge one's batteries."  

Why do we feel guilty when we take time to rest, recover and recharge?  The dishes, laundry and to do lists aren't going anywhere; they will be there when we get up...trust me.  Taking a sick day? PUH-LEEZE (misspelled for emphasis) - most of us have to be on our virtual deathbeds before we allow ourselves the "luxury" of a day in bed...but that is just the "prescription" most doctors prescribe for a cold or flu.  Stress fracture or any sprain...rest the muscle, give it a break. We can even take advice from the video industry when they say "please be kind and rewind." (Okay...that may be a stretch but it's still applicable nonetheless.) ;-) 

This posting came to me in the healing and aftermath of the passing of our precious and beloved "dog child," Bailey.  

So it is with this posting that I continue to honor her life, after all, her example of "stopping and smelling EVERYTHING" was the premise of this blog, per se.  So, in closing today, I say REST in Peace, Dear Bailey! Enjoy the big dog park in the sky; we love and miss you so very much!