I Am More...

...than the number on the scale, the candles on my cake, my title, the car I drive, the house I live in, the degree(s) behind my name, the stamps in my passport or the amount in my checking, savings or 401K accounts, etc.  

No other time than January 1st or when applying for a job is trying to answer the question "Who are you?" more thought provoking, frustrating, and exhilarating.

Whether taking an introspective gaze into your hopes, dreams, aspirations and goals for the new year or charting a new professional path, answering the following questions can be a daunting task: do I follow the road that is "tried and true" or do I (dare I?) take a leap of faith into the unknown, "rerouting" to take the fork in the road that leads to passion and uncertainty? 

I honestly do not know which option is scarier...the same path or a new one.  Known or unknown? Safe or unpredictable?  I do know, however, which one gets my heart racing and blood bumping with an excited, childlike enthusiasm versus a stress-induced apathy.

While still pondering and contemplating resolutions of 2014, fresh starts of our recent move and next steps in my career, I realized that perhaps my emphasis should not be on the words that follow the inquisitive questions; that I am as much the punctuation at the end of the sentence as I am the preceding words.  My "aha moment" came when I looked at the above questions through the perspective of an empty frame.  An empty picture frame holds endless possibilities and can be changed frequently.  It is when I chose the path that makes my inner child squeal with delight that I remember most. So, as I fill in the blank to answer "Who are you?," I want to be brave enough to make sure whatever I write has an exclamation mark at the end.  

I am so very thankful that each day and each year we are given a blank frame, per se, to determine our "picture." How are you filling in your blank and does your answer warrant an exclamation mark, a question mark or a period?  Based on your answer, you may want to do some editing.

Not a Sacrifice...

During Ash Wednesday service today, the pastor posed an interesting question.  He said most people talk about and decide what to give up during the 40 days of Lent.  "What if," he asked the congregation, "we ask ourselves instead 'what will I take on this Lent?' "  In a culture where multi-tasking has become second nature, you may say to yourself there is no possible way you can take on or add one more thing to your already maxed out, double-booked schedule.  I agree and am right there with you in that mindset, however, please let me finish.

The pastor went on to say that this "item" need not be anything heroic, earth shattering, or necessarily worthy of a journal entry.  He suggested allotting just five or ten minutes a day to quiet and still our minds to focus on and become more aware of God's presence in our life.  Referencing Mark Francisco Bozzuti-Jones' book, "Never Said a Mumbalin' Word," the pastor said that Jesus never mumbled a word.  Jesus did, however, take time to be quiet in His Father's presence.

The pastor's message was truly an answer to prayer.  In contemplating how I would observe this Lent season, I prayed last night that God would show me what He wanted me to give up for Lent. My "aha moment" came in the realization of how AMAZINGLY He answers prayers; and in most cases, not at all the way I thought, wanted or had in mind but rather in a way that I end up being blessed more than I could have ever imagined. 

Perhaps we could follow Jesus' example to afford ourselves a few intraspective and reflective moments in our crazy, busy days?  To me, this doesn't sound like a sacrifice, per se, but a welcomed moment of calm in the sea of chaos I call Monday through Friday.

        

Au Naturel...

My "aha moment" came on a trip to London. I saw all these great, short hairstyles and thought a great "souvenir" would be to get my hair cut while on vacation.  Much to my surprise and initial disappointment, the stylist said I already had a good cut and that I just needed a trim.  He brought out my natural curl that 1) I didn't realize I still had and 2) that I had been fighting all my life. You see, when I was little and as my hair grew, I graduated from resembling Bozo the Clown to Shirley Temple.  

My experience in the salon chair "across the pond" started my introspective juices flowing. Why do we always fight our natural assets versus embracing them?  We always want what we don't have and the grass is ALWAYS greener, especially when it comes to hairstyles and jean sizes. What we don't realize, regardless of which side of the flatiron we are on, is that rarely are we satisfied.  Our negative self-talk tends to operate in overdrive most of the time.  Fresh off of penning my 2014 resolutions, I am working on redirecting my thoughts to be more positive, and in the process, adopting a more accepting perspective...of others and in particularly of myself.

So, I came back from London sporting my natural curls in all of their wavy wonder and nowadays try to go "au naturel," per se, every chance I get. 

Thinking Outside The Box...

Happy New Year!  I'm back!  After taking some time off to mourn our dog child's passing and to get through...survive...I mean enjoy the holidays, I am back with all the infinite wisdom fresh resolutions and desires to "start anew" that a new year brings with it.

Part of the drill of the arrival of January 1st is the exercise of self examination, soul searching, goal setting, and some dreaming. When ordering water on two occasions, in two different cities, I received water in a box.  Hmmm, creative...more "eco" and green. Flashier and leaving more of an impression than one thinks when initially looking at a "plain, black and white" box.

I had an "aha moment" and my boxed water got me thinking. With the dawning of each new year, birthday, etc., most of us desire to "leave our imprint on this world"...and nowadays, with the rising population, decreasing resources and landfill space, more and more of us want to do so without leaving "our (waste) footprint."

It is encouraging to see people, especially today's youth, getting so involved in a variety of worthy causes. Unfortunately in our time in history, there is no lacking for a cause to rally behind and support.  For the most part, I would say most of us want to do good and abide by the Golden Rule. No other time is this exhibited than during the holidays, which is wonderful.  What is especially encouraging and renews my faith in mankind, however, is when this caring and "pay if forward" perspective appears beyond the holidays.  Today, I went through a southern-based chain's drive-thru for a quick lunch while running errands. When I got to the window to pay I was informed that the car in front of me paid for my meal. Wow!  The cashier said "and it's not even the holiday."  I was grateful, blessed, surprised and extremely touched.  

So touched and grateful to my anonymous benefactor that I returned the favor and kept the generous spirit flowing in the drive-thru by paying for the order of the car behind me. The bill was for two kid meals so it felt good to give a probably busy mom a surprise and unexpected break.  It is true what they say, it is better to give than receive and I drove off with a smile on my face as a result.

So, in light of my yet-to-be identified and penned resolutions (guess working on my procrastination should be at the TOP of the list!) and today's exhibition of generosity, in 2014 I want to look for more opportunities to pay it forward, to smile more, to work on my eye contact, to remember people's names, to get involved, and to be an active participant in this life; I only get one after all so I want this one to matter.  This all got me wanting to really think outside the box this year, or because of it, per se. 

  

Rest...

Catnaps...

No rest for the weary...
Rest and relaxation...
Bed rest...
Rest stops...

I "Googled" the word 'rest' and the following results appeared on my screen...

rest¹

rest/

verb

1. 1.

   cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength.

   "he needed to rest after the feverish activity"

   synonyms:

   relax, take a rest, ease up/off, let up, slow down, have/take a break,unbend, unwind, recharge one's batteries, be at leisure, take it easy,put one's feet up; More
2. 2.

   be placed or supported so as to stay in a specified position.

   "her elbow was resting on the arm of the sofa"

   synonyms:

   lie, be laid, repose, be placed, be positioned, be supported by More

noun

1. 1.

   an instance or period of relaxing or ceasing to engage in strenuous or stressful activity.

   "you look as though you need a rest"

   synonyms:

   repose, relaxation, leisure, respite, time off, breathing space,downtime; More
2. 2.

   an object that is used to support something.

   "a chin-rest"

   synonyms:

   stand, base, holder, support, rack, frame, shelf More

The definitions that spoke to me in an "aha moment" are "refresh oneself, or recover strength" and the synonym that especially stood out to me was "recharge one's batteries."  

Why do we feel guilty when we take time to rest, recover and recharge?  The dishes, laundry and to do lists aren't going anywhere; they will be there when we get up...trust me.  Taking a sick day? PUH-LEEZE (misspelled for emphasis) - most of us have to be on our virtual deathbeds before we allow ourselves the "luxury" of a day in bed...but that is just the "prescription" most doctors prescribe for a cold or flu.  Stress fracture or any sprain...rest the muscle, give it a break. We can even take advice from the video industry when they say "please be kind and rewind." (Okay...that may be a stretch but it's still applicable nonetheless.) ;-) 

This posting came to me in the healing and aftermath of the passing of our precious and beloved "dog child," Bailey.  

So it is with this posting that I continue to honor her life, after all, her example of "stopping and smelling EVERYTHING" was the premise of this blog, per se.  So, in closing today, I say REST in Peace, Dear Bailey! Enjoy the big dog park in the sky; we love and miss you so very much!

Oxymoron...

Jumbo shrimp...
Baby grand...
A cactus in the shape of a heart?

During a morning walk, I saw this little piece of irony along the walking path.  Upon seeing the cactus, I had an "aha moment" and thought that it was the perfect combination of protection and softness...and a natural expression of the state of our hearts most of the time. We put walls up to protect us, to protect our hearts. 
Scripture even advises us to do this..."Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." (Proverbs 4:23 NIV).

Unfortunately this "strategy" is usually implemented only after our heart has already been bruised or broken.  

Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me.

Once we experience the gut-wrenching pain of a broken heart, we vow to never let anyone do that to us again, to never allow ourselves to go through that pain so we develop "spines" and build walls to keep the remaining pieces of our heart protected and future hurts at bay.  For some, that growth comes a bit slower, after their heart has taken multiple hits; for those few individuals who can truly "turn the other cheek" and "forgive and forget"...or whose "character radar" is more fine-tuned, those walls or spines never develop.  Their hearts remain intact and beat free from any emotional scarring.

Regardless of which "bucket" you find yourself, consider yourself lucky.  If your radar is better than most and your heart has never been broken, be thankful you were spared the pain.  If your heart is on the mend or was broken but healed, "never be ashamed of your scars because it simply means you were stronger than what tried to hurt you" (author unknown).

And regardless, be thankful for nature's little gems that speak to us per se and touch our souls.  

Pandora Bracelet of Life...

This isn't a posting about a remarkable image I saw in nature or my daily life, however, it did produce a thought-provoking "aha moment" nonetheless.  Recently I've been thinking a lot, and I mean A LOT, about friendships. Perhaps this is because of our "recent" move TO a great city which once again required moving away FROM friends a.k.a support network, gal pals, sounding boards, etc. ??!?

In writing that, the Girl Scout song comes to mind..."Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold..." but I digress.

While leaving friends makes me sad, my heart sings and I am so very grateful and blessed by the friends and memories I am fortunate enough to have accumulated through all of our moves, experiences and jobs over the years.  Like a Pandora bracelet full of symbolic charms, my life's bracelet is garnished with the "BFF bead" - the friend you've known the longest, who knows you - the good, the bad, the ugly, the braces, the heartbreaks, the childhood playmate, etc.  You know the one...the one person outside your family who you cannot remember not knowing.  Then there are the "school mate beads", the "college beads", the "prayer warrior and women's small group beads" (or men's group or group for whatever your special interest or hobby may be) who help you grow spiritually, mentally, and emotionally to become the person you were meant to be.  Then come the "professional beads," those individuals, who have mentored and advised you along and throughout your career, helping you to develop and become more polished as you maneuver the whole "life/work balance/what do I want to be when I grow up" dance.  And, last but certainly not least...the "beads" gathered from each city you've lived. Sometimes these "beads" come into your life through a job you worked, a group you were involved with, a Zumba class you took, through a friend of a friend, or just living next door and/or across the street.  

For me, my Pandora/friendship bracelet of life includes precious "beads" added from my hometown, schools attended, six cities in four states, seven jobs, two professional associations, and six women's small groups.  Thank goodness for email, social media and Skype!

Through all my moves and "first days on the job," I discovered that making new friends is the toughest part of the transition.  People are so busy these days, it's hard to find time for the friends you have, let alone squeeze in time to make new ones. In addition, by the time we're adults, our walls are up and we tend to be a little apprehensive and jaded when it comes to friendships and letting new people in (let's face it, by this time, we've been both on the receiving and delivering end of being wounded - many times over).

It was so much easier when you little.  Not only did you get recess, snack and nap times, if you saw someone new or sitting alone, all you had to do was walk up to them and ask "Want to be my friend?" and the friendship was forged and the deal was sealed, per se...  

I cherish my "friendship bracelet" - the one accessory that never goes out of style.  I take it out often, especially recently, and remember and acknowledge each bead as I look at pictures or recall a memory that results in a smile, laugh or head shake.  "Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold..."