Fear Not...

I set some items aside during my devotional time this morning, two that I had tucked in my journal and two for journaling. During a break, I happened to look over and realize that these four items summed up perfectly my last two weeks of October...and the fact that they were color coordinated makes my Type A heart sing!

The 'Fear Not' sticker is for an upcoming women's conference at my church, however in my current season, it represents a leap of faith I recently took as an act of obedience and investment in me.

While the helmet sticker is from my husband's recent obstacle race (I participated in the shorter version the same weekend), I finished that same "Spartan Beast" race a couple of years ago. As a result, the sticker represents physical achievement and symbolizes a time where I pushed myself beyond anything I thought I could do, in the most challenging, physically demanding thing I have ever done, and my proudest accomplishment to date.

And last but not least, the colorful pens represent the tools I use to record statements, quotes and scripture that resonate with me and the vehicles, per se, that I use to communicate and share my thoughts. 

These items and the elements or concepts they represent are not unique only to me. We all have an inner strength we need to tap into and unleash if we are going to see our secret, or not so secret, heart's desire, dreams and callings come to fruition. As the wise-beyond-his-years Christopher Robin told Pooh, "You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Unfortunately, we do not always believe those wise words.  As Candace Payne, the ''Chewbacca Mom," advises in her new book Laugh It Up; Embrace Freedom and Experience Defiant Joy, we need to "shut our 'shoulds' up" and instead tap into and listen to our inner resilience that says "YES, you can!"

A while ago I saw, read or heard someone define fear as "false evidence appearing real." Why is it easier to believe the falsehood and lies rather than the truths and reality? When did taking a leap of faith become so daunting, scary and crippling rather than exhilarating, life-giving and exciting? Just think of a child learning to ski; they have no fear and zoom down the hill while most of the beginner adults are clumsy, fearful and their own biggest obstacles.  

Writing that, Stephen Covey's 90/10 Principle comes to mind. His principle states that 10% of life is made up of what happens to us (out of our control), and 90% of life is decided by how we react to those events (within our control). Wow! That principle should be our superpower against the evils of fear and doubt!   

Humor me by doing a little exercise...let's say you're faced with a major decision - it can be a life-altering one or it can just be a 'bump in the road, eeny meeny miny moe, fork in the road' decision. Make a pros & cons, worst case scenario list.  Now hold that list up to the 90/10 Principle. Ask yourself, if the worst possible option actually happened, would the sting, fallout or repercussions of our decision still matter ten, five or even three years down the road? I am not a betting person, however if I was, I would bet and say in most cases probably not. 

So, shed some light on those fears, take a closer look and realize that those Goliath mountains holding you back are usually just anthills full of learning opportunities and hidden blessings in disguise...and fear not!    
     

And She Waits...

And she w.a.i.t.s. = 

w-anting

a-nxiously

i-n

t-he 

s-tillness

In a season of exploring waiting, I thought of this acronym and it seemed to perfectly and even eloquently if I may be as bold to say, describe "the waiting," which can either be embraced or dreaded.  

When you are waiting, your desire, the stillness and, depending on what you are waiting for, either the excitement or the emptiness & ache, can be overwhelming, daunting and sometimes all-consuming.  And the longer "the wait," the more excruciating the expectancy and preoccupation on what is lacking or what is to come.  

On the happier side, I am reminded of many Christmas Eve nights when I was a child and trying to fall asleep with no success thanks to the anticipation and excitement of the anticipated next morning.  

On the flip side, however, when the wait involves heartache and longing time seems to stand still.  Everywhere you look you see others enjoying the same thing that continues to elude you, whether that is healing, a partner, a promotion, a baby, an answer to prayers, etc. ...whatever "it" is that you yearn for, appears to bless someone else and not you. 

But then, as the darkness of the evening fades into the light of the new dawn, I am reminded of a scripture that brings a peace that can overcome and engulf you like a loving and gentle hug, per se.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-8 NKJV) 

A Journey in the Desert...

Obedience...waiting...leaning & pressing in...trusting...desert & wilderness...

An elementary school teacher taught us a trick to remember the spelling difference between dessert and desert.  She asked "Which would you want more of?  That is the one with the extra 's'."  Brilliant!  More dessert please because who would want more of the desert, of wandering, heat that feels like fire, and thirst?!?  As I got older, however, I noticed and realized that, while yes there are mirages of doubt, sometimes a false sense of security, the unknown, decisions made in desperation and a state of lostness in the desert, there is also a sense of clarity, a getting back to the basics and bare necessities, prioritization, and even an obedience for our own good that abounds in the wilderness.  

In three messages I recently heard, the Israelites' encounter with the Red Sea on their desert journey from Egypt to the Promised Land was referenced. This reminded me of my recent trek into the desert on the way to my own Promised Land, and the obedience it required. 

Many times, especially in my case, the obedience God calls us to does not make sense on paper, to the world, or even to us. It can be scary, the journey long, and you can feel as if your time in the wilderness or desert will never end.  Christians, however, are called to be in the world but not of the world; we are called to be salt and light, and that light, when emitted, can shine on and drown out the darkness of fear and doubt.

I looked up the definition of obedience and the definition I found read and sounded harsh and submissive, however when I 'Googled' obedience, "obedience to God" was the second option or result. I scrolled further down the results page and found a website with 22 verses on the topic of obedience (biblestudytools.com), another site (thoughtco.com/obedience-to-god) listed eight reasons why we should be obedient to God, ranging from "obedience to God proves our love to Him (1 John 5:2-3); demonstrates our faithfulness to Him (1 John 2:3-6); glorifies Him in the world (1 Peter 2:12); opens avenues of blessing for us (John 13:17); to even being a form of worship (Romans 12:1)." Yet a third site stated that "obedience works so much better when love is involved - both on the receiving and giving; that when we obey the Lord, we can live a life of joy."

Wait a minute..."We obey His commands, not because we have to but because we want to, because we love Him." Drop the mic and cue the tears. That definition resonated so much more with me than the harsh one I initially read, especially in light of a recent decision. I recently stepped out in obedience, in reverence and awe, because of my love for God and because I know He loves me and only has the best plans for me. I did this, not because I had to, not because He is some tyrannical being who wants to suppress me; no, that would be the enemy.  In taking that step of obedience, God's provision, protection, and blessings have been bountiful.

In writing those words, I'm reminded of Abraham and how God called him to sacrifice his long-awaited, long-promised, and deeply loved son, Isaac. Despite his immense fatherly love for Isaac, Abraham loved God first and foremost so he was obedient. When Abraham took a step of obedience and put his son on the sacrificial altar, he was blessed and called righteous by God (Wow!).  God intervened and provided an alternative sacrifice in the form of a ram (foreshadowing, per se, to Jesus??).  God wanted to see if Abraham would be obedient, not as a test of his actions or will, but as an examination of his heart.

So, dear friends, where is God calling you to obedience and what is he asking you to put on the altar?  I speak from experience when I say, do not tiptoe but run and cannonball into that obedience.  It will require some leaning & pressing in, a lot of trust, and probably some waiting but God's loving hands will be there to catch you and it is such a sweet, sweet landing! The only thing I regret is not taking that leap of faith and obedience sooner.

Joy Comes In The Morning...

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh..." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4 NIV) 

This past Wednesday morning one of my devotional readings highlighted Abraham and Sarah laughing in the Old Testament, one in disbelief before the miracle of their son's birth and one in joy afterwards (Genesis 17:17 and Genesis 18:12 respectively). Then I read a devotional about peace, all the while the words to Newsboys' song, "Your Love Never Fails" ran through my mind...

"...You stay the same through the ages, Your love never changes, There may be pain in the night, But joy comes in the morning..."

The timing of the topics and song lyrics were amazing as the day prior was the fourth anniversary of losing our sweet furchild, Bailey, to cancer. As much as we do not want to remember her final days of suffering and pain, it happens. While we still miss her terribly every day and her absence has left a hole in our hearts, we thankfully are to the cusp where the tears are fewer and the laughter & happy memories are first of thought, more frequent, and plentiful.

Through the morning sickness of pregnancy and labor pains of giving birth, you know and take comfort in the fact that you are eventually going to hold a baby and all of your suffering will be a thing of the past, a vague memory. Similarly, while in the midst of training for a marathon or an obstacle race or even during the actual event, you feel as if you are never going to make it to, or see, the finish line.  But you do, and if it weren't for the blisters, bruises and bumps per se, all of your suffering again would be a vague and distant memory.  

So, whether your heart has just broken or is currently on the mend, please know that time will heal your wounds, that through the sorrow the sun will rise again, spring does come, and in the midst of new beginnings and a new 'norm,' hope abounds.  There will be laughter again, and joy does come in the morning. 

Waffling...

A college advisor once told me that my inability or unwillingness to make a decision was actually a decision.  He said that I was afraid of making the wrong decision so I did not make a decision.  My only decision was to perch on the fence of indecisiveness.    
I have a knack to see both sides of the coin or ability to weigh all of my options (and weigh and weigh...).  The problem comes when I have to pull the trigger, getting stuck in the process on which way to go. I would have such a hard deciding what to eat when going out to dinner with my former roommate that I started ordering whatever she got to avoid food envy, second-guessing and order regret.  Again, fear of making the wrong decision.

Changing the lens, per se, is there really a "wrong" decision??!?  The majority of the time we are not contemplating life and death situations or decisions; usually just good, better or best options. 

Chatting with a friend in a cool coffee/waffle & chicken cafe in Austin, the idea of waffling popped into my mind. (Isn't it amazing and funny where we draw our inspiration; sometimes it comes from an obscure source and sometimes it's glaringly obvious).  Having recently made a major, life-altering and life-giving decision, I know all too well the idea, experience, stress and effects of waffling.  I went back and forth on this decision for several months.  Well, to be exact, I made the decision several months ago but waffled on the timing of my execution.  As mentioned above, fear is usually the biggest culprit of keeping us in that confusing and perplexing state of analysis paralysis. Facing fear head on, however, and making a pros-and-cons list while imagining potential worst-case scenarios releases fear's grip on us, especially when we realize in all reality that most of our conceived 'doom & gloom' outcomes will not happen. We are then able to move forward toward our decision and embrace "what could be," regardless of right or wrong.

By the way, the photo...salad with waffle croutons?  That's an easy decision - yes, please!!!

Tucked & Tattered...

"Tuh-MAY-toh" or "tuh-MAH-toh"..."veys" or "vahs"...meticulous or disheveled?? 

Try as I might, I just don't understand the trends of half tucking your shirt and buying jeans that are tattered and torn, despite being new. It's amazing how time and the majority can turn something from once being perceived as messy to a current social norm.

Upon further reflection, however, I equated that these recent fashion movements and trends could be synonymous to the condition of our heart, soul or mind at any given time.  Our heart can feel tattered by a disappointment, suffering or emotional toll.  Busyness, overbooked schedules, and overwhelming obligations can leave us feeling like we're half tucked, per se, and barely holding on; that at any given minute we or our house of cards could come tumbling down with the addition of one more item to our 'to do list.' 

Despite the pain or the chaos, change and growth can blossom.  We grow stronger and learn from the past...we eventually decide enough is enough, something has to change, things have to slow down.  What was once accepted as our norm is no longer acceptable.  Ideally, our enlightenment would be brought upon by a choice of our own doing and not the result of external inflicted forces, however and most of the time, this is not the case. Regardless of the source of our epiphany, time brings about change, is a great teacher, and thankfully heals most wounds.  

To tuck or not to tuck, that still is a question.  
   



    

Anticipation...

...is making me wait. (Cue memories of the 1979 Heinz ketchup commercial and Carly Simon's melodic voice playing in the background.)

Ahhh, the soul nourishing, character building and experience developing outcome of waiting.  Love it or hate it, the best or most enriching path is to embrace it.

It's the how you embrace the waiting that will determine your outcome.  Does waiting make you anxious?  Angry?  Frustrated?  Or do you look at the waiting as preparation of your desired outcome, a welcomed pause and opportunity to catch your breath and recoup?  I guess your response would or could be to ask..."It depends on how long we're talking?!?!!"  

Think about the exhilarating, anxiety-filled and nerve-building (or squelching) anticipation of waiting in line for a roller coaster...or an runner in the starting blocks...or the walk down the aisle (to your awaiting groom)...or the night before the first day of school...or the drive to the hospital to deliver (or receive) your long-awaited bundle of joy. Whatever your anticipated destination, the wait is filled with many emotions, feelings, and thoughts; positive and negative. 

Do you abide by a 'glass half full' or 'half empty' mentality?  Interestingly, when I searched for synonyms for 'anticipation,' 'wait' was one of the selections (yea! Confirmation that I am heading down the right rabbit hole!), however, then I looked for synonyms for 'wait' and most of the selections were mixed in positive and negative connotation: halt/hold, time wasted/rest, downtime/interim, pause/delay. 'Hold,' 'rest,' 'pause' and 'interim' all resonated with me more than the others; proving that my lens is changing from dread to embrace with regard to waiting.  

What initiated this shift in perspective was when I shared with a publishing rep that I had an idea for a book but I had to wait until I had a baby, because I thought that was when I would have arrived at the book's premise, scope or purpose.  She responded with "Why do you have to wait?"  And I seriously, in that moment, I thought I heard harps playing and a light bulb appeared above my head.  That is when the book truly took form and the chapters started formulating, almost on their own.  Through countless hours, days and years of waiting for a variety of "when" items ("When I get (a)...married, baby, job, degree, lose weight..." and the list goes on and on), I have run the gamut of emotions.  It was in that simple, almost obvious question that my, and the book's trajectory, changed.

So, consider this post a prelude, per se, as to what is to come.  In the meantime, all the best to you in your wait.

Contentment...

Happy New Year and welcome, 2017!!!

Each January I select a word, a theme or perspective if you will, for the new year at hand. This year's word is "contentment."

I used to think this frame of mind was a mentality that was synonymous to giving up per se, as if one was resolved to accept circumstances, disappointments and unmet dreams as final; as if things weren't going to change so one might as well accept things as they are and pretend to be okay with this realization.


However, when I embraced this word, I discovered the utter joy, the limitless possibilities, and the excitement that this word actually held, represented and exuded. This may just be my favorite word yet.


So, 2017 I emphatically and joyously welcome and greet you with glee and anticipation for what you hold and have to offer. In the meantime, I'll wait contently.